I started clubbing, drinking and smoking again, which I'm really hopping to stop before I get permanently addicted again.. .. Besides, I can't bear to let down a dear friend again and I will try my best for his sake because he means a lot to me and I love him so much.. .. The whole thing lasted two weeks and it was fun but life goes on and I have to keep my focus.. .. I'm not gonna let anything ruin what I've worked so hard for.. ..
I crossed paths with my ex again and I'm pretty satisfied for not breaking down on the sight of his face.. .. I kinda realized that he had never been able to look at me in the eye whenever I tried talking to him.. .. Oh well, I guess he still got issues.. .. I really hope one day we can be on good terms again.. .. Do I still have feelings for him?? Yes.. .. Do I still miss him?? Very much.. .. He is my ex after all and his mark had been permanently etched onto my heart but do I still hope for him?? NO.. .. However, I can't seem to get him off my mind.. .. Matters of my own heart remains a mystery to me.. ..
Well, I guess time will reveal why things happened the way they did.. .. I've been questioning myself a lot lately.. .. Perhaps, I even felt a little insecure.. .. I brought this on myself but hopefully things will go back to the way it was soon.. ..
I'm forever yours, faithfully ; 9:42 PM
