Thursday, 15 December, 2011
The Very LastIt's been almost a year since I posted on this blog.. I had no intention of keeping it but I decided this will be my very last post here..
So my last few posts were about a boy.. He was a schoolmate at Shatec.. We were close friends and we fell in love.. It was good will it lasted.. Such great times I had with him.. But one fine day, I had to let him go.. He wanted to chase his dreams and our relationship was giving him insecurities.. The aftermath of the breakup wasn't good.. It lasted for months.. Tears and more tears.. Till one day, I slipped into depression.. I got the help I needed and slowly I'm trying to build myself up again..
I chose to let go of every thing that reminds me of him.. My friends, my life with them.. It broke my heart, it really did.. But I know it was the right thing to do and it was the best for us both.. To be completely free of distractions.. For us to be better Muslims.. I know some of my friends took it the wrong way, saying bad things about my decision but it doesn't really matter.. I know I made the right choice..
So what's happening now?? I got accepted to an university and insya'allah I'm looking for a suitable job as we speak.. I met a new guy who seems really nice and we shared a long in common.. I'm not looking for anything more than harmless friendship but I guess that depends on Allah S.W.T.. Whatever is his will.. I accept..
As for that boy.. I wish him all the best in his life.. Perhaps one day we'll meet again, perhaps not.. But he will always have a special place in my heart.. I can't ever forget our love.. But we must go our separate ways..
Khairil Ardy.. I've missed you..
I'm forever yours, faithfully ; 12:30 PM
Wednesday, 1 December, 2010
BurntI shouldn't have played with fire.. .. I shouldn't have.. .. I knew from the start that it's just not possible but I let my feelings carry me away.. .. He makes me happy, he makes me forget about my ex., he's there when I needed him but for some reason, I want more.. .. I can't let that happen.. .. I won't destroy our friendship.. .. I won't let history repeat himself.. .. I've lost my ex, I can't lose him too.. .. Why do I keep falling for the people I'm not suppose to fall for?? What's the point of me getting over my ex then?? I want to run away from the world and hide until these feelings go away.. .. I made it go away once, I can make it go away this time.. .. The only way is to shut myself out the world.. .. I'm sorry everyone, I must do this again.. .. It's the only way I can save my heart from breaking again.. .. I must let him go before it's too late.. ..
I'm forever yours, faithfully ; 11:31 PM
Sunday, 28 November, 2010
HDB Cat BanThe whole issue is ridiculous!! I never even knew it exists till recently, when we got a notice from HDB to remove the cats from our premises.. .. It's absurd!! I hope the person who caused all this to happen suffer for the rest of his life and die a terrible death.. .. Even then, I hope he burns in hell for eternity.. .. It's so heartless, how can anyone do such a thing?? Cats are loving creatures.. .. I miss my babies.. .. I spent every single waking moment in shrouded in sadness thinking of my babies' fate.. .. I don't know where my dad has sent them off.. .. I don't know how are they gonna fend for themselves.. .. They are domestic cats, not stray cats.. .. Who will feed them and love them the way we did?? Dear God, I beg you to watch over them when we can't.. ..
What insults me the most was them saying that dogs could be kept as pets while cats can't.. .. That isn't fair!! Dog are dirtier, loud and noisy.. .. They urinate anywhere they like.. .. How are they exempted for the policy?? I've looked through the net and found out that appeals have been made by various parties to reverse the ban but the government ignores us.. .. What does this say about our government?? Refusing to listen to us even though it has been made clear that the policy is flawed and biased?? So much for democracy!! This is an outrage!!
This is clear now that their kind, their whole fucking race only care about themselves.. .. I hate them.. .. This is only a fraction of their evil doings.. .. Our people are being oppressed.. .. They're suffering!! I have been misguided all along, supporting their kind.. .. Never will I anymore.. .. I've seen the truth and I pray to God that our time will come soon.. .. These people must pay for their evil doings!! Allahu Akbar!!
I'm forever yours, faithfully ; 9:37 PM
Tuesday, 23 November, 2010
22nd BirthdayI turn 22 today and I had an awesome birthday celebration last night with Ardy, Bernice, Shawal, Nat and her friend, Saleha.. .. The night started with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.. .. Boring movie ever.. .. I didn't watch the last one so I did not get it.. .. Neither did the others.. .. Yadiy was working and he gave us free popcorn but he was a bit moody that night.. .. Hmmm.. .. Lately each time I saw him, he always not in a good mood.. .. I kinda miss his joker self.. .. Oh well.. ..
After the movie, we bought supper at Mcdonald's.. .. Initially we wanted to eat there but we decided to smuggle food into Kbox.. .. We sang till 6am and we had a great time!! This is the first time in years that I did not celebrate my birthday in a club.. .. No alcohol either.. .. Just pure fun.. .. I'm glad.. ..
I was surprised to receive SO many posts on my Facebook wall.. .. I am deeply touched.. .. I'm blessed to have such great friends and I love my life so much!!
I'm forever yours, faithfully ; 10:56 PM
Friday, 19 November, 2010
GoalsI went to KL with my family last Sunday.. .. We left on Tuesday and spent the night at my Aunt's house in J.B till Wednesday, spending Aidiladha with a steamboat lunch.. .. It was extremely nice to get away from my hectic life.. .. Even though a lot of things happened there which kinda turns down the mood.. .. The never ending rain, my dad and his tantrums.. .. Oh well, this kinda thing happens every year.. .. I still had fun.. .. I'm still hoping I could go there with my friends next time.. .. With them, it's all talk but no action.. .. We've been talking about a trip for years but it never happened.. .. Regardless, after I complete my WDA bond, I'm definitely taking a trip by myself.. .. A backpacking tour most like.. .. I hope my intentions will materialize.. .. When I say I want something, I do it.. ..
Anyway, I can't wait for Monday.. .. Gonna spent the night with Ardy, Bernice, Nat and Wal.. .. I'm hopping that Man and Zy could join us too.. .. Nat's birthday falls on the 22nd so yeah, we're gonna celebrate it too.. .. Despite 23rd being my birthday, I really don't feel like celebrating because a year older means a year short of reaching my goals before a certain age.. .. I desperately need a career, financial security and ultimately, a stable and happy relationship.. .. None of which I have.. .. Sadly, I'm still hung over my ex despite his friend telling me that me and him, it's never gonna happen.. .. It's easy for me to move on with life but it's impossible for me to forget him.. .. Forget this love and deep feelings I have for him.. ..
Enough about him.. .. I need to work on my goals fast and time is running!! Already, a number of my friends are starting families.. .. Talk about peer pressure.. .. Marriage is obviously not as simple as the inclination to smoke or drink because your friends are doing it.. .. The idea is tempting, yes but it's not a simple thing to actualize.. .. Career wise, I still don't know if this kitchen life is meant for me.. .. I simply cannot imagine myself as a chef, slogging hard even when I'm 40.. .. I need a back up plan, as my mom repeatedly tells me.. .. She wants me to go back to school, take up a different course and get myself a regular office job.. .. My dad on the other hand wants me to start a business.. .. Maybe I will but I guess I should focus on completing my internship first.. .. It's kinda sad that my friends are ending theirs next month and I still have five months left.. .. I so cannot wait to go up to that stage in ceremonial gown, receiving my well deserved diploma.. .. I hope time will fly by!!
I'm forever yours, faithfully ; 8:53 PM
